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Sentencing

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Sentencing

Postby SURINEN » Jan 3, 2006 (1:37 pm)

The crimson-marred curtains that form the walls of the small area enclose little more than a padded table draped in a white sheet and the workers, for medicines and tools are not what those who must come here for help need.
Other life here: none.


This is in the room with Yeenol.
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Postby Leyara » Jan 3, 2006 (3:10 pm)

I'm not sure what about the sentence you find incorrect. The curtains enclose the table and the workers (ie healers). "For" is the conjunction linking the two independent clauses into a compound sentence. Perhaps you read the sentence wrong? If you see something I do not, feel free to clarify.

I did find a misspelling elsewhere in the room description, so thank you for the report.
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Postby SURINEN » Jan 6, 2006 (5:33 pm)

I'd find it easier to read/understand if it said it a little differently; perhaps the room for medicines and equipment (or w/e it says) is curtianed by a bloody drape, nurses and attendents hurriedly bussing in and out. On the walls are shelves of tools and medicines...etc.
I'm not an english major by any means but the first part of the sentance has too many descriptive adjectives, therefore not clearly linking the "conjunction" and the rest of the sentance.

Maybe it's the comma.

Or Maybe like this:
The crimson-marred curtains that form the walls of the small area for medicines and tools enclose little more than a padded table draped in a white sheet and the workers are not what those who must come here for help need.
Other life here: none.

Except, I can't tell what its saying by this: are not what those who must come here for help need.

medicines and tools are not what hurt people come for?

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Postby Leyara » Jan 6, 2006 (9:05 pm)

I'm not an english major by any means but the first part of the sentance has too many descriptive adjectives, therefore not clearly linking the "conjunction" and the rest of the sentance.


Perhaps if 'the workers' was moved in front of the table?



Maybe it's the comma.


As I mentioned before, this is a compound sentence connecting the two phrases "The crimson-marred curtains that form the walls of the small area enclose little more than a padded table draped in a white sheet and the workers" and "medicines and tools are not what those who must come here for help need" via the conjunction "for." Thus, the comma is necessary.


Or Maybe like this:
The crimson-marred curtains that form the walls of the small area for medicines and tools enclose little more than a padded table draped in a white sheet and the workers are not what those who must come here for help need.
Other life here: none.

Except, I can't tell what its saying by this: are not what those who must come here for help need.

medicines and tools are not what hurt people come for?


If you had read the rest of the room description, you would know that this room, the "quandary" is for patients whose outcome is unclear. In other words, they are so near death that medicines and tools won't help them, only the skills of a dedicated healer will. Hence, why there is only room for the table and the workers (ie healers).

Code: Select all
[The Healers' Guild, Quandary]
Appropriately and affectionately named, the quandary is for those whose outcome is unsure, for it sees the most horrific of all the injuries that step or are carried through the guild's door.  Not in some comfortable office or low-traffic area, but here at the frontlines of the war against death is Yeenol found, never to be torn from her work, even by the commission of guildleader.  The crimson-marred curtains that form the walls of the small area enclose little more than a padded table draped in a white sheet and the workers, for medicines and tools are not what those who must come here for help need.


So the ones that come here are here for magical help only. Everyone else goes to the infirmary. I will however move 'the workers' ahead of the table in the sentence, so as to ease some of your confusion. I'm not going to change the rest of the sentence because I don't believe it is unclear, unless you don't read it properly.
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Postby SURINEN » Jan 6, 2006 (11:04 pm)

no need to change a thing unless you feel the need. that is after all your duty, mine is simply to point it out.

instead assuming I don't read rooms, you could have been helpful instead and assumed i fogot and helped to remind me. (I read and reread the room trying to figure it out, and couldn't!! Thats why I brought it in here after all.)

This was suggested by a cleverishly kean halfing: if the word "because" instead of "for" was used, it would be less confusing.

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Postby Leyara » Jan 6, 2006 (11:07 pm)

I apologize for assuming you didn't read the description. And yes, I agree, 'because' will make the meaning more clear.

Again, I apologize for being gruff. Thank you for this report and all those you've made in the past.
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Postby Leyara » Jan 7, 2006 (12:51 pm)

Fixed :twisted:
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